Lessons Learned From The Most Embarrassing Moment In My Life

I'm sharing with you a short synopsis of who I was during high school. I weighed 235 pounds, could barely bench the bar, and my favorite pastime was playing video games. I was your typical overweight teenager. It wasn't until I got to college that I needed to start making changes to my routine.

Developing my new habit of going to the gym, lifting weights, and doing cardio was difficult. I had no idea what I was doing. I performed the lifts that we did in gym class in high school. And even though I was doing the work, I did not have the proper structure to make adequate progress. That came years later.

But the one area I started making gains in was cardio. To this day, I despise running. Right before a run, I always say under my breath, "I have to do this nonsense again?"

The only good thing about running is that you quickly improve. That was the reason why I kept it up in my first weight loss journey. Putting your miles in day after day gets easier. I could feel myself taking each step more efficiently than the last. That feeling is exhilarating.

Freshman Summer

By the time I finished my first year of college, I had dropped my weight down to just under 200. That officially made me part of what is known as one-erland. I went down from a size 38 pair of Levi's jeans to 34. My shirt size followed suit. For the first time since I started high school, I was feeling good about myself.

That summer I had the freedom to put everything I had into running. I wanted to get my weight down to under 170. To me, that was the ultimate goal.

There was a period where I was killing it. My runs were starting to stretch into the 5k range, and I was getting the time down to 8 minutes per mile. I was also able to get a sprint in to finish off the last leg of the run. I could not believe what my body was capable of.

Then there was the week were I was on fire. I had just made it through five 5K runs straight with no breaks. The next night when I wanted to go take another run, I decided to make it a 10k for once. That is almost a quarter-marathon!

This was more most difficult run yet. The first 5k was simple, but I was slowing down in the second half. I could feel myself breathing harder after each step. My body was drenched in sweat trying to cool me off. After the fourth mile, I dropped my speed and took the rest of it easy. By the last mile, I was slowly jogging to the finish line.

When I got home, I hunched over as I put my hand on my parent's house. I was heaving. My sweat was raining onto the pavement. I could not believe I finished my first 10k! But my body had taken a beating from the run. I walked in, took a well-deserved shower, and got myself to bed.

When I got up the next morning, the moment my feet hit the ground, I toppled over and hit my chin on the basement floor.

"Wha…what the heck happened!?"

In a daze, I tried to get up again, and I had pain shoot up my right leg. And I had to sit down on the floor.

"WHAT IS GOING ON!?"

I am freaking out at this point. It is like my legs are not properly working. I crab-hobbled my way to my desktop and pulled myself up into my chair. I opened up the web browser and started viciously going through search engines trying to figure out what was happening to me. I might have even searched, "Why does my feet not work"

After some time, I finally found the answer.

I had stress fractures in my right foot. For those who don't know, stress fractures take the form of cracks in the bones of your feet. This can be caused by repeated high impacts to your feet such as running for extended periods without rest.

What probably happened was right before my last run, I had already started developing stress fractures. If I would have stayed back and taken a day off or two, I would have been just fine. Instead, I decided to gun it and run a 10k.

At this point, I was not even thinking about the fact that my weight loss was paused, or being upset about not being able to do my next run. The pain was agonizing. Walking up the stairs was a chore. Every single step reminded me that I am now paying the price for pushing my body too far. I ate my breakfast in shame.

I am such a fool.

For me to walk, I had to angle the outer rim of my foot to the ground to protect the parts of my foot that hurt the most. My left foot now carries the majority of my weight because every time I lightly touch the ground with my jacked-up right foot, sparks are sent up my leg.

Not only that, I had to work the night shift that same day. And I did not have a car at the time. The distance to get to my part-time job was about a mile, and it usually took me fifteen minutes to walk there. I already knew this was going to be a miserable night.

When the time came for me to head out the door, I started my hobbling adventure. I did the best I could to put almost 100% of my weight on my left foot so I could minimize pain on my right. I clenched my teeth every time another spark shot up. I did the whole breathing hard thing to push the pain back down. I looked like a zombie walking across town.

Once I got to my job, it was going to be three hours of washing dishes, cutting pizzas, and busting tables on a bad foot. What was usually a pretty easy gig turned into a grueling test. I think at one point my boss asked about why I was walking around like I had a broken leg, only for her to shake her head in shame about my incident.

Hopping into bed after getting back home was the best feeling ever. My right foot was on fire. Putting Icy Hot all over it did almost nothing. I felt so stupid. My only saving grace was it was summer break and I did not have work the next couple of days. That gave me plenty of time to stay off my feet and recover. And it gave me time for much-needed reflection.

Learning From This Experience

I will be the first one to say you should always strive to reach your fullest potential. Nothing feels better than performing at your absolute best.

In the same breath, I also say find your limits. And I mean find your limits. If you do not know or respect where your highest point is, you will not know how to properly push past it when you need it, or back off when your body requires it.

I screwed up both.

I ended up with hilariously awful pain for two weeks and I lost my weight loss momentum. If I had listened to my body, I could have kept making decent progress with a small rest in between. Instead, I was forced into it. Do not be like me.

With confidence, I can say I am wiser now. I listen to my body every moment I can. I know when there is room to put more pressure and take me to my limits, and I know when it is time to give it a rest. Being in tune with your body's true potential has been amazing to me.

You could say I unlocked that ability by destroying my right foot. Like it was a rite of passage.

I believe there are smarter ways to get there. I just did it the hard way first.